...because I'm sick of that song.
The day didn't necessarily start out bad.. boring, but not entirely bad. Watched my Golden Girls... yes, Kent, ..golden...girls...! drank some health crap... not literal crap but almost. The day got bad when the hubbster and I went out to eat, and the family in the table across the aisle from us had a brand new baby girl... she couldn't have been more than a couple days old. And I guess the mommy felt like showing her off, because she took her out of her carseat and held her while she ate...and my view was even better then. Tiny tiny little baby girl, dressed all in pink. I took a look at the baby and started to cry. My husband tried to divert my attention and talk about other things...and of course tried to make me laugh... but it really put a damper on my day.
The questions I keep asking that nobody can answer for me is WHY... why was I blessed for such a short time with a baby on the way...and WHY did it not work out? Was it punishment for something I've done? Was it something I drank, ate, took, did? Is there something wrong with me? When will I stop worrying about it all and when exactly does the grieving process actually end? Will I be blessed with such a precious gift again? And if so, how long will it take?
Will God ever answer my questions?
I've never been so ready to go back to school. I need some normalcy and something to do during the day. I think it'll help me out a lot.