Wednesday, September 29, 2010

9 months

***We interrupt this possible-blogging-hiatus to bring you my sweet little angel-man's 9 month update!***

Dear Dylan,

Today you are 9 months old. Good heavens, son! Time just will NOT slow down for anything! What have you been up to this month?

~You are wearing 6-9 month clothes and size 3 diapers.

~Not sure on your weight/height because you haven't been back to the doctor yet (loving this stretch of no-doctor-ness). You were supposed to have an EGD done twice this month, and both times it got postponed (once by me, once by them). Supposedly you're supposed to have it next month now, but insurance is playing a fun game called "let's don't pay for anything because we think Dylan had insurance before this insurance, even though he really didn't," so we will probably have to postpone again until that's all taken care of.

~You're still working on the prop-sitting, which you're totally not a fan of. Your new OT also has you picking up toys from the ground and bringing them up, which is new for you (unless YOU feel like doing it, of course)!

~You've acquired the loudest, fakest cry ever, which you employed the ENTIRE time the new OT was at our house last time. It wasn't pretty.

~You still do tons of babbling, but still no "mama"... every time I ask you if you can say "mama," you give me the most ornery grin you can muster, like "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Ain't happenin'."

~Grandma is determined to teach you Korean words, which I think is awesome.

~You still love going to visit your grandma every day, and she loves it when you and brother show up!

~Speaking of brother, you just love him... you love to watch him... but you're slowly but surely starting to figure out that if you fuss while brother's around, brother tends to get in trouble. I have a feeling you're going to be a turkey! A lovable, huggable, kissable, ORNERY turkey!!

~You (and brother, of course) continue to be the love of our lives.

Monday, September 27, 2010

And now, goodnight....

I'm toying with the idea of not blogging anymore. I've blogged for many, many years. It all started on blurty in 2002. My sister and her friends had blurty accounts, and I somehow got talked into the blogging world. Then I switched to livejournal. Then xanga. And now here. I've always enjoyed getting my thoughts out via a blog, but it has never been a way for me to completely express myself. I try not to, but I somehow always manage to write like someone's going to read it instead of just writing what's in my head the way I'm thinking it.

The road I walk now is very different than the road I started out on when this blog was born... and worlds away from the path I was taking back in the blurty/livejournal/xanga days. I'm older. I'm wiser. Mostly just older, but whatev. I don't have time to update all the time, and even though I do not (and never will) get money from my blog, I still somehow feel obligated to update it every once in a while. When something becomes an obligation and not a "want to," that's not good, right?

Bottom line? I love my life. I do. I love my children. And I want people to enjoy reading about my life and children if I choose to write about them... but I hate the feeling of writing FOR whoever's out there and craving their response to what I write... and what's more, being disappointed when people DON'T respond.

So... should I stop blogging? Should I just turn off comments? What are YOUR thoughts on the matter? (And this is NOT a plea for attention... I'm 30 years old.. pleas for attention are SO back-when-I-was-21. heh)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Dear Dylan,

You know that new fake-cry-scream thing you've acquired? Yeah. Stop that. Super annoying.

But hey, it's pretty awesome that you already respond to "no-no!"

Loves and kisses,

Your mommy.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

My papaw

This is my Papaw. And a very teensy little M. My papaw is one of THE best men on the planet. I double dog dare you to challenge me on that fact. He's quiet, reserved, but secretly hilarious and fully equipped with one-liners and zingers that you wouldn't expect to come out of him. He's strong, kind, generous, and loving. People love my papaw after being around him for only a short while... not because he's outgoing, because he's not. It's because he has one of those souls that radiates goodness.

My papaw has leukemia.

My papaw, his doctors, and my mom (and her brothers) have come to the decision not to move on with treatment.

My papaw is dying.

Dear Papaw,

I'm coming to visit you in the next week. Please hold on. I want you to hold my babies one more time (Dylan for the first time, actually). I want your good-soul-radiation to get on them. I want them to be just like you. The world needs lots of men just like you. I hope you know how much I love you. I hope you know that my distance has never been because of something YOU did. I hope you know you still owe me for the tolls to get to your house. (Inside joke!)
I love you. That phrase doesn't seem adequate enough. I want you to be happy in Heaven with my Mamaw (I know she's anxiously awaiting you!), but I'm so, so very sad for me. Just hold on for me. Please?
Your Granddaughter.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Letting the consciousness stream. Or.. something.

This has been a long week, even though technically it was a short week. First grade is wearing me down. I feel like a floppy fish out of water. I'm trying, though, and I think I'll get used to it.

Dylan was supposed to have an EGD done on Thursday, but I postponed it til toward the end of the month. Dylan has a bit of a cold right now, and with his nose being so stuffy and/or runny in the mornings especially, I didn't feel good about him being sedated. The thought of it was very unsettling. Hopefully he'll be good to go by the 23rd, which is the new date.

Dylan also had his last appointment with his current OT. Her husband is in the military, and he's being stationed at Fort Bragg in North Carolina. They're slated to move next week. We are sad to see her go. But we met the new lady that will be coming over, and she's really nice. She's a former high school special ed teacher.

They (his now former-OT and his new one) were impressed with Dylan's new-found prop-sitting skill. I'm excited to see where he goes and what he does next.

The big boy is doing well. He's ornery and naughty at times (most of the time), but he's still sweet(when he's sleeping). Today he was in Dylan's room, and he somehow managed to pull Dylan's dresser completely over. I've praised God about a trillion times that Michael wasn't hurt at all, and that Dylan was napping in his swing in the living room....because about 30 minutes earlier, Dylan was in the room with Michael, lying on the floor playing while they both watched Elmo on DVD. I'm so thankful that neither of them were hurt, but it shook Michael up pretty badly. He came out screaming and shaking... I held him, hugged him, gave him big kisses on his tear-stained cheeks, and asked him if he was okay. He said "Yes, I'm okay, but the DRESSER FELL DOWNNNNNN." I see that, sweetie. hehe

I'm glad it's the weekend, but I have a lot to do. I think my house is about to explode with dirty laundry. It would be pretty embarrassing to see my undies and big M's socks flying through the neighborhood because our laundry room exploded. Tomorrow is our niece's birthday (party... her actual birthday is Sunday), and she'll be 5. I can't believe she's already 5. That was THE fastest 5 years ever. Happy birthday, Tori!

It's way past my bedtime right now. Goodnight, friends.